We at Conspiracy Theory Central are warming to the candidacy of Rudy Giuliani. This guy seems to have more skeletons in the closet than a werewolf in London. Thrice married. Boring, where's the tutti frutti? Names Bernard Kerik police commissioner of NYC. Later goes into a consulting business with Kerik and talks George Bush into nominating Kerik to head US Homeland Security. Kerik turns out to have ties to mobsters and, if news reports are correct, shall shortly be indicted by the Department of Justice for tax evasion and corruption charges stemming from his days as head of the NYC prison system. Kerik was also on the board of Taser International and Conspiracy Theory Central loves the taser.
OK, that's tutti. How about frutti? "Giuliani left his second wife, Donna Hanover, to be with Judy Nathan [the third wife], the nurse who cared for him while he had cancer. Hanover heard the news at the same time as the rest of the world: during a Giuliani press conference. * * * Giuliani’s first wife is also his second cousin." Link. Nice frutti. "Giuliani and his firm have also faced protests for employing a Giuliani childhood friend and Catholic priest, Alan Placa, who was barred from priestly duties after being accused of molesting boys more than two decades ago." Link. Coddling an accused child molester / priest. And, did we mention Rudy the cross dresser? Oh baby, we got our tutti frutti! Who knew Giuliani possessed such a depth of presidential qualities?