Friday, December 12, 2008

Voting Has A Known Liberal Bias

Conspiracy Theory Central has been on continuous sedatives after the beatdown John McCain received from Barack Hussein Obama. Oh, and the Republican infighting after the loss has only worsened our depression. Joe The Plumber takes shots at McCain ... and McCain made this guy! Everybody takes shots at our shinning angel, Sarah Palin (be still my beating heart), over some cloths. OK, lots of cloths. But her whole wardrobe was Alaska, Walmart sheek and the campaign needed to spruce her up for the national stage. We are completely fine with $150k spent on this cause. For comparisons sake, somebody go check out what it costs to wardrobe the Jolie-Pitts for a few months.

But the affronts against Sarah Palin are not what have Conspiracy Theory Central in a lather today. No sir. It's Al Franken and his nearly completed theft of a United States senate seat in Minnesota. This lunatic is up there trying to get all the votes counted. Everyone knows voting has a liberal bias. That's why Lee Atwater invented, and Karl Rove perfected, voter suppression tactics. America created inner city ghettos for the undesirables and we never go there but I'm told on good authority that the voting lines at inner city polling stations around the country stretched for miles and lasted many hours. That's no accident. They are supposed to go home without voting.

Conspiracy Theory Central has lost our train of thought. We started off on Al Franken and ended up on the subject of undesirables voting. On second thought, I am sure those two subjects are related. In any event, the Minnesotans voted up there, the votes were counted, and Norm Coleman won. Where in the Constitution is there found the right to a recount? Recounts are an invention of the Democrats. Thank God the Supreme Court stopped the Florida recount in 2000. We'd all be enslaved in Mosques by now if Al Gore had won in 2000. And where is the Supreme Court on this Al Franken theft? Isn't it their job to stop local election officials from counting votes? Calling Antoni Scalia, the mafia don of the Supreme Court. Do your job sir before this wingnut Franken barges his way into the US Senate!

Conspiracy Theory Central has one confession to make. Please forgive us but we love Stuart Smaley.