Friday, October 5, 2007

Ann Coulter is a Conspiracy Theorist's Wet Dream

"Syndicated columnist Ann Coulter: 'If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. * * * It's a personal fantasy of mine. * * * And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women." Story. Great idea ... but don't you publicly represent yourself as a single woman? Would this not constitute self-hate? Women as a category are a well worn field for Ann Coulter invective: see, the 9-11 widows, Cincy Sheehan, Hillary Clinton, et alia.

We at Conspiracy Theory Central love Ann Coulter. Find me an easier subject from which to construct gorgeous conspiracy? Senator Toe Tapper, Larry Craig? Please, he appears no more than a dirty old aficionado of the tea room trade. Dime a dozen. OK, there is Jeff Gannon / Guckert / Gosch? More on this. But Jeff Gannon is an enshrined member of the Conspiracy Theory Hall of Fame so it would be like comparing Gail Sears to LaDainian Tomlinson. Just not fair to LT. Out of the active players in the field of political conspiracy, Ann Coulter's off the charts.

Arthur Coltrane. At the heart of the Ann Coulter paradox lies her adam's apple, the man apple. The blogosphere has trumpeted this for years. But it gets better. Check out this blog post: "The public should know that some 20 years ago Arthur Coltrane’s doting mother Darlene, heiress to a hog farming fortune, sent her unhappy teenage homosexual son to Copenhagen for a sex-change operation by the world-renowned surgeon Dr. Magnus Johansson. The ever-obliging doctor acceded to Darlene Coltrane’s request, and following the operation gave her the severed penis in a jar of formaldehyde. She keeps it in her bedroom." Link. It is because of Ann's flaming quotes that my boys in the conspiracy theory community are able to concoct far out theories to hang on her. With someone this unbalanced, who knows?

No comments: