We at Conspiracy Theory Central are now afraid to visit public restrooms for fear of being confronted by elected Republican officials seeking gay sex. We cannot sit in the stall comfortably doing nature's business when lurking nearby may be the next Rep. Allen or Sen. Craig. The only answer to this epidemic is to segregate the public toilets of America by political affiliation. Red doors with elephants for the Republicans and blue doors with donkeys for all sane Americans. The red toilets will be free fire zones where sexually repressed Republicans may let their inherent urges flow amongst their own kind.
Red State Update's take on the Sen. Larry Craig situation: