Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Smoking Joe For VP ... Passes Smell Test

Since Samuel Dale Brownback quit the race, Conspiracy Theory Central has been in a funk over who to support for president in 2008. Viagra Fred? The semi hot wife ain't enough to get us on that wagon. Tutti Frutti cross-dressing Giuliani? Hillary (the antichrist) would grind this faux mobster to dust while he endlessly whines about his self-proclaimed heroism on 9-11. Mitt Romney? We are sick of those snot nosed Mormon missionaries knocking on our door trying to convert a true believer in Jesus Christ to their cult of Joseph Smith. Are we going to put a cultist in the White House? Please. We'll have to close our eyes and punch a chad.

Gosh Joe, digging that cologne. Which brings us to Sen. Joseph Lieberman. William Kristol, savant of the Weekly Standard and Fox News, suggests Smoking Joe for Vice-President on the Republican ticket. Bill does have an impressive record with his predictions. Conspiracy Theory Central likes the way William Kristol thinks! Take a deserter from the enemy's failed 2000 ticket, the running mate of "Rain forest" Al no less, and convert him to a shock troop for forces of light in the looming battle against Democratic darkness (pun intended Obama). But has leader Kristol thought through all the potential scenarios? What if Smoking Joe is a Manchurian Candidate? Think we're being paranoid? Note, Rep. Mark Foley was a Democrat before defecting to the party of God where he laid in wait only to inflict untold destruction upon us with his underage boy phone sex from the Capitol. We are weary of traitors least they be double agents. But if George has sniffed the guy up close and likes what he smells, what's to fear?

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