Senator Larry Craig's children Shea Howell and Michael Craig appeared on "Good Morning America" today to say "Our dad ain't gay!" Link This afternoon, the Craig's longtime Venezuelan housekeeper appeared on CNN with Wolf Blitzer also proclaiming Larry Craig's nongayness. Said the housekeeper, "The senator is always grabbing my ass when his wife isn't looking. I know he wants a piece just like any man." Finally, this evening on National Geographic Channel's The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan is to interview the Craig family dog. According to an advance press release, the dog is expected to say he has seen Larry Craig having sexual relations with women on many occasions. We at Conspiracy Theory Central have conducted a nonscientific poll among our seven regular readers (one of whom is my cat Mimi) on the topic of whether or not Larry Craig is gay. The top response to the survey with four votes was: "He ain't gay but his boyfriends are."Satire.
2 comments:
Maybe the problem is he grew up so far from a public restroom that he never learned the basics. The ranch he grew up on today is still 25 miles from a paved road. It’s possible he grew up a 100 miles from the nearest public restroom.
The guy thinks picking up toilet paper off the floor, accidentally touching the guy in the next stall’s foot and touching the peed on divider are all reasonable things to do. I always figured when you are in there you touch as little as possible. I don’t know if that something a parent imparted or I just came to a conclusion about by myself, but Craig’s children think it’s normal to touch everything.
>>Maybe the problem is he grew up so far from a public restroom that he never learned the basics. The ranch he grew up on today is still 25 miles from a paved road. It’s possible he grew up a 100 miles from the nearest public restroom.<<
You need to be on the Craig defense team. The old "I'm just a hick from the sticks" defense. Nice idea. Problem is that Craig has been living in Washington DC as a US Senator for the last 25 years. One would think he's learned how public restrooms work in that time. But your defense is better than anything that has been thrown out there yet.
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