Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Let's Taser All The Friggin Students!

Time to nip this student back-talk thing in the bud. One guy gets out of line disrespecting a sitting United States Senator and, next thing you know, it's Berkeley circa 1968 all over again ... hippie student protests out the ass, clouds of marijuana smoke wafting through the air, free sex, peace-love and all that. Thank God this isn't going down on Dick Cheney's watch. No sir. We at Conspiracy Theory Central, of course, love a good conspiracy. We dig the questions Andrew Meyer of the University of Florida put to Sen. Kerry--i.e., Isn't it true Senator that you and President Bush were Skull & Bonesmen at Princeton and that you both engaged in homoerotic rituals? This kid has a future in journalism. But that's not the point. One must crack a few eggs to make an omelet. Back in the day, law enforcement used night sticks and attack dogs to strike fear into the populace. Thank God for technology. Andrew Meyer was the sacrificial lamb needed to send a message to the dope smoking young non-conformists of America. Conform or fry at the end of a taser you punks! Take your place in our energy guzzling, consumer driven society. Pay your taxes. Bow to the leaders. Don't question elections or wars. They are matters beyond your station. That's right, drink the kool-aid. Meet Mr. Taser students, the new sheriff in town.
(Satire.)

1 comment:

jjray said...

I have two problems with this incident. First, the use of excessive force to stifle free speech of a political nature. Isn't this America? Second, tasers are a self-defense tool of law enforcement. These are dangerous weapons that kill people every year. Lazy cops now use them as a control device. What happened to this student in Florida is similar (at a lesser degree) to the Rodney King deal. A guy is on the ground obviously being overpowered by police yet they use a weapon (taser in this case, night sticks in the Rodney King case) to render the suspect completely docile. Be a man, a real cop and cuff the suspect. End of story. "Today, by the count of CBS News, 70 people have died after being TASERed."
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