X-Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura has a new book coming, Don't Start the Revolution Without Me! According to the reviews, Jesse hints at a run for the White House to take it back for the people. Conspiracy Theory Central is all over the Ventura candidacy like white on rice. Why? Because Jesse is a conspiracy theory nut job like us. Kennedy assassination, 9-11, he's down with all of it. Can you imagine the fodder for this blog if Ventura were to become president? Nirvana baby!
But who's his running mate? Vince McMahon, owner of the WWE? Boy, that would have been a great choice but, alas, one of Vince's wrestling storylines implies he's gay. Of course, he can counter those charges with the allegations of sexual molestation by women. No, Vince is out. Hey, here's a brain fart: what other x-junk sport athlete is governor of a state? Bingo! Arnold Schwarzenegger. They were in that awful movie Predator together. Both are almost certainly former steroid users. And both are macho men of action, testosterone oozing down their chins. Too bad Saddam isn't still around for our boys to take turns bitch slapping the punk. A peace summit with Vladimir Putin? Forgetaboutit. Maybe a world leader's tag-team steel cage match in Geneva--Putin and Hugo Chávez v. Jesse and Arnold! The event would rake on pay per view.