Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ethan Hunt To Clean Up The World

Conspiracy Theory Central is very afraid. We think Ethan Hunt is coming for us. You see, we're not a Scientologist. Mr. Hunt said, and I quote, "I won't hesitate to put ethics on someone." In translation from Scientologese, Hunt is saying he will make others conform to L. Ron Hubbard's rules of behavior. Link. Conspiracy Theory Central is a world class non-conformist. We fear we are on Mr. Hunt's radar screen. He says the Scientology "orgs" are only here to help us. That a Scientologist sees the world as it really is and can create his or her own reality. That Scientologists are the experts on the mind. That they are the only ones with the knowledge to help the world. That extraterrestrial Thetans inhabit each one of us who has not been "cleared" by Scientology. Scary stuff but this is the part that whams us in the gut. Mr. Hunt says "these are the times now people ... so what do you say, we gonna clean this place up?" To which the gathered faithful roar, "YEAH."

I don't want the Scientology red pill. Give me the blue pill damn it!!! Just leave those Thetans inside of me. I enjoy the company. And here I wasted time being afraid of Hillary Clinton!

Mr. Hunt's acceptance speech given after receiving an award from Scientology. Camera left is a very large portrait of L. Ron Hubbard. Mr. Hunt salutes it after his speech, intoning, "to LRH".

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