Thursday, May 29, 2008

Bush Presidency Fault of The Liberal Media

Conspiracy Theory Central's head is still spinning after hearing of the Scott McClellan memoir. McClellan essentially says the White House press office, of which he was a major player, has been a propaganda machine during the Bush years. That a culture of deception exists there. Scotty, I'm just shocked you would say such an outrageous thing.

Having not slept, ate, drank, or shaved for 24 hours (we do admit to having used the toilette) in utter despair over the hammer blow from our boy Scotty, we have found light at the end of this dark tunnel. In between all the Bush bashing, McClellan says "the 'liberal media' didn't live up to its reputation", the liberal media failed to do its job. Listen up all you leftist pansies out there. Our boy Scotty has a message for you: THE LIBERAL MEDIA CREATED GEORGE BUSH! That's right. It's not our fault the Bush II presidency has careened out of control. It happened because the liberal media failed to challenge the man. It's like driving a sports car drunk without a seat belt. Everyone knows crashes are going to happen. If the driver gets injured, it's the seat belt's fault for not protecting him. Never mind that he failed to snap the seat belt into place before driving off. If the seat belt were properly designed, it would snap itself into place. The sole reason for the existence of the liberal media is to act as a moderating force to save a brilliant leader from himself.

The more I contemplate the words of Scott McClellan, the more his central message clears before my eyes--the liberal media is the root of all evil in the universe. It's like Newton's third law of politics. Thank you Scott for speaking out and reinforcing what we already knew. Next time, please put your central point in the title of the book.

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