McCain--I Don't Care If She Has NO Brain, Palin Looks Good on TV

John McCain has finally seen the light to the great relief of Conspiracy Theory Central. Ronald Reagan had to be helped to the bathroom but could the old boy ever stand there looking presidential reading from a teleprompter! The Gipper's brain was so badly riddled with Alzheimer he could barely remember his own name yet he goes down in our book as the greatest US president since George Washington (Napoleon is our all time fav world leader). By the Reagan yardstick, Sarah Palin is ready to lead! She's so perfect for our agenda Conspiracy Theory Central wets his pants just contemplating the beauty of Mrs. Palin on the presidential ticket. The only thing more glorious would be having Sarah Palin on top of the ticket (Conspiracy Theory Central prefers women on top).

And our girl Sarah possesses more than just outer beauty. She sees the world in black and white, good versus evil. Even better, her entire life is led by faith, no thinking allowed. For instance, her faith tells her Jesus will return to earth in her life time triggering the rapture. See Salon article. She's a creationist through and through meaning Sarah know through faith that the earth was created 7000 years ago despite all the bogus scientific evidence that the earth has existed millions and millions of years. It's all hogwash just like the global warming myth. Al Gore invented global warming while experiencing a bad acid flashback. And Sarah knows we shall drill our way out of this energy crisis. Finally, Matt Damon can kiss Conspiracy Theory Central's ass. God love you Sarah Palin and please put in a good word for us when Jesus shows up next month, or whenever he gets here.